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I study languages.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Autocracy.

I like being in charge.

As head of my lab team, I've been teaching chemically technical genotyping protocols to a new group of underlings. Sometimes I wonder if they find it strange that they must answer to me, a freshman girl four years younger--because I do make them answer to me. I am the final word in all decisions, the executive administrator for our project. I call the shots--anything from who is doing which procedure when to which results are meaningful and which are sloppy or inconclusive. I ask the questions, I explain the theory behind my procedures, and I like it.

As a blonde freshman girl in upper-level science, I have to outwardly establish myself before anyone ever gives me credibility. By appearance, a boy with dark-rimmed glasses and a nice shirt can be assumed to be smart, but in my pastel dresses I must ask the most esoteric question, do the most complicated math, or use the most technical vocabulary so others understand that I know what I'm doing. I can't even perform at a basic A-level and expect respect; I have to impress before I'm assigned intelligence points. Luckily, this game is my specialty as of late; because I am never given credit, I am used to publicly earning it, and in so doing I extract the respect of those who always end up asking me for help, regardless of my age.

Unfair? Absolutely.
Impossible? No way.

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