Now.

 original, the Cocoa Bean Cupcake Cafe in Provo

Life's been slow on the blogosphere as of late, mainly because there is only so much people can take of you complaining about how all you want to do is stuff generously frosted cupcakes down your throat and pass out to figure skating documentaries (wow, ironic combo), but how instead you have to wake up early and take showers and straighten your hair and put on your mascara and dig out some wrinkly outfit that doesn't make you look like a complete mess and arrive at school and hurry to be on time and pretend to smile when people ask you for the ten millionth time how to distinguish Trypanosoma epimastigotes from Leishmania promastigotes, and how all this is necessary BECAUSE YOU CANNOT SIT ON THE COUCH IN A SNUGGIE YOUR WHOLE LIFE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO.

Which is depressing.
Because for at least sixty more years I will have to wake up early and shower and get dressed and put on makeup and smile at people I don't want to smile at.
:-(

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Also, I got my fourth BYU ticket of 2010 two days ago. I just can't pass up the convenience of faculty parking, and I think the mindblowing vehicular proximity I manage to obtain every morning is well worth the $100 I've shelled out since last August for what I consider my "parking pass." But when I get three more tickets this year (a certainty, not a possibility) I will be officially banned from on-campus parking. LAME.

Unrelated but fun thought: Imagine if you were given one day to eat whatever and however much you wanted with no caloric consequences.
OMG, THIS WOULD ALL BE WORTH IT.

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I don't think I've ever tapped my capacity to eat. Not just to eat, I mean to really eat. Oh, you'll often hear me say I'm full because it's the polite and healthy thing to do, and because nice, emotionally balanced girls don't eat twelve burritos in one sitting. But I really think I could, if I let myself try. I could eat a whole batch of cookie dough. Or a whole can of buttercream frosting. Or four savory crepes topped off by two sweet ones and a cupcake for dessert, followed by soft macaroni dripping in multiple cheeses for an after-dinner snack. And then maybe another cupcake. OH, THE GLORY.

I would be a fugly fat-a. But I would be a satisfied fugly fat-a.

To prevent myself from becoming a fugly fat-a in the near future, I have lined up an engagement in which I cannot wait to participate. And no, it's not at the local In 'N Out Burger.

* FIGURE SKATING LESSONS! *

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That's right; starting next Tuesday evening, yours truly will be joining the local rink's Adult Beginning class. My course material includes such daunting and awe-inspiring feats of sheer Olympic strength as "Falling and recovery" and "Smooth and effective forward motion."

I cannot wait.