Matrix.

During Johnny Weir's reality show, which, incidentally, is all I watch these days, I was surprised to hear him say, nervous for the future, "Am I gonna go to school next? Do I have enough money to go to school next? Do I need to get a job? Do I need to learn how to make a latte? Ice skating is the only thing that I know how to do well."

This is how I feel all the time. Remember the fig tree?

The only things I know how to do well are esoteric: science, reading, and writing.

The academic world leads people to believe that these are marketable skills, but in reality, I can't see many real-world applications. Don't get me wrong; I could write a ten-page thesis on why my skills are marketable. But that's just it. I can write all I want, but that's all I can do. People tease me because I'm “the most skilled part-time worker there is;” I’m certified in medical assisting, phlebotomy, and currently help teach Medical Parasitology, but I can't get a job as a waitress because I have no experience.

ACADEMIA IS FAKE.

Those who, like me, delude themselves into functioning in this false reality in which what matters is where the comma goes in a periodical citation or how to correctly abbreviate "third edition" are lying to themselves.

UNPLUG YOURSELVES FROM THE MATRIX, ACADEMES, AND BREATHE REAL AIR!