BYU shut itself down at 3 PM yesterday after wildly abusing the Y-Alert text messaging system (really, fifteen messages?) to make sure every single one of its 30,000 students knew about an impending blizzard that would (and I quote)
"far surpass anything that we've seen, probably for the last several years. The combination of snow, extreme cold, and possibly damaging winds will make travel extremely hazardous." A counselor in the Kennedy Center sent all her employees home at 12 to escape the traffic, and when I showed up in her office she looked to be on the verge of tears. "Be extremely careful in the snow!" she exhorted as I left. The testing center, which decided to close at 4 PM, forced my organic chemistry professor to extend our exam until next Monday, giving those who hadn't taken it yet an extremely unfair advantage (in a class graded in fierce competition, that's insane). My roommate, who was supposed to work a five-hour shift on campus yesterday and all day today, simply won't get paid for those hours (she can't come to work if campus is shut down). And my neighbor's kids, who excitedly set up an insulated tent in the backyard in order to weather the storm "like Bear Grylls," sat out there for hours while not one flake graced our sorry ground.
Let's just say I'd hate to be:
1) the meteorologist who decided citywide alerts were necessary
2) the dude who decided it was necessary to shut down the entire university
"Are you sure, Cecil? Shut down campus? That might be a little drastic."
"I'm sure, Steve. This blizzard will far surpass anything that we've seen, probably for the last several years! We'll be stuck inside for days! Students need to stock up on groceries and flashlights or get the heck out of town!"
"But consider the logistics of the situation. Eleven professors trying to pack in exams before Thanksgiving, thousands of students in classes on campus, thousands more employees with jobs to work..."
"Give the order, Steve. Break out Y-Alert."
Luckily, I'm not the only Utah blogger laughing.
http://h00plah.blogspot.com/2010/11/hide-yo-kids.html
http://www.cjaneprovo.com/2010/11/imaginary-blizzard.html
http://jayniemoon.blogspot.com/2010/11/dear-utah-we-caught-wind-of-giant-storm.html
http://www.formerlyphread.com/2010/11/fake-blizzard.html
http://jbod97.blogspot.com/2010/11/remember-that-freak-blizzard.html
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