Verbatim.

Some guy outside the Bookstore just handed me a free apple. I devoured it happily and without question. Maybe I should be more careful about eating things given to me by people I don't know.

I'm currently sitting on a table in the Wilk terrace, and the guy across from me is having an intense relationship conversation with his male friend on the phone. I'm happily transcribing everything he's saying. It's a great typing exercise; plus, it's hilarious. I didn't know guys got advice this intensive from their friends.
Try this on for size (BYU exclusive!):

"If she starts kissing more than one person at a time, are you okay with that? You've gotta decide, man. And you've gotta warn your girl about that, if you decide to 'let her loose,' in a sense. Say, like, I'm going to only date you, that's my decision. But as far as you go, don't hurt me. I have to ask that. But you've got to make up where that boundary is. I'm not trying to say it's this way or the highway, but you do have to protect yourself to a point...Cause that's what it is, it's a feeling. First of all, does she have authority through received promptings for your life? No. So what was it? It was a strong desire of hers. Because she didn't want it to be exclusive. Well, it's so easy for me to sit here and analyze all of this stuff, but it comes to my own life, and it's like, shoot, I'm such a screwup. Maybe you can say, 'You don't have to call it exclusive, but I'm going to call it exclusive. You just keep me informed so I don't feel cheated.' Maybe she's just gotta work it out in her mind. And that's a good middle ground. I think girls are a little bit more accustomed to that, because they're the ones who are asked out."