Finals, etc.

I took my first final of the semester (English) today and hope my score (98!) will set a good example for my remaining four exams.

I had quite the interesting time in the Testing Center. I took my usual trip up the secret stairs to the music room, where I was ecstatic to notice an open seat right by a window, just like I have always wanted. There was a kid I knew from anatomy class right next to that seat, though, and there were tons of open seats in the room, so I knew it would make things unnecessarily awkward if I sat right by him. I was really sad at having to pass on the window seat. I brutally sacrificed a potential source of happiness to social convention. I never get a window seat.

Soon after I sat down, a girl a few seats back from me had a sudden hiccup attack. I don't know how else to describe it. All at once, she broke out into this loud, uncontrollable barrage of squeaky, guttural hiccups. At first it was funny, but it got old really fast, and after a few minutes everyone in the room was annoyed. I kind of felt bad for the girl. I mean, if your phrenic nerve decides to spaz out, there's really nothing you can do about it. But still, she was impossible to ignore, and I lost a good fifteen minutes just listening to her calm down. It was like sitting next to Loud Sneezer in my chemistry class. Loud Sneezer is a tiny girl who barely says anything. Her sneezes are sudden, intense, and repetitive. They are few and far between, but what makes them so notable is the fact that she actually screams while she sneezes. As in, it's like she's at a horror movie or something. It's an actual SCREAM. You know the phrase, "jumped out of your skin?" Well, that's what I did the first time I sat next to her. She looks so little and innocent, and then, AAAAAEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA-CHOOOOOO! Trust me. It's deeply unnnerving.

Then, another girl came into my testing room. Not only did she sit RIGHT next to me, the first thing she did was pop the seal on a large bag of crunchy chips. ALERT: THIS IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE. I HATE it when people eat loud food in the Testing Center. If you're hungry, please get string cheese or a drink or something else that doesn't clear the entire atmosphere of any promise of concentration. Or just wait until you finish your test. You will not starve. I promise. Anyway, this girl did not make ANY ATTEMPT WHATSOEVER to eat quietly. She crunched and munched and gulped, dragging out the sound until it seemed like she was doing it on purpose. I kept visualizing myself standing up, slamming my fist into that obnoxious, rustling chip bag, and yelling "ARE YOU FINISHED? HUH?"

Between Hiccup Horror and Sickening Snacker, the hour it took me to zoom through my test felt interminable, but it was all worth it to walk down the stairs and find my ID number on the little monitor beside the word "Congratulations!"