Growing.

original

I was incredibly frustrated with my Arabic speaking skills last semester. I felt like in comparison with two and a half years of steady upward progress in grammar, comprehension, composition, and reading, my oral speech capabilities insisted on remaining grossly underdeveloped. However, as of two days ago I don't think I've ever spoken more fluently. I can't pinpoint a reason as to why, but somehow I speak with more fluidity, at a manageable conversational speed, and with most of the correct declinations. I'm nowhere near perfect, of course, but complex conversations about the roles of public social establishments in Islamic culture during the Middle Ages, the historical and architectural significance of Moscow's Red Square, and the different artistic styles present in the facade of the White House seem to flow more freely than ever. It's a mixed blessing, as I'm heading off to the MTC in just about a month and for the next year and a half my finally-emerging speaking skills will have to be put on hold, but I'm still incredibly pleased with my progress (and incredibly surprised that my efforts are finally starting to pay off). It's nice to know that I can do it, despite the fact that this has taken more hard work than I ever could have imagined, especially to push through periods where I don't think I'm making any progress.

Moral of the Story: I take a while to do things and get frustrated if I can't do them right away, especially if others can. But if I work hard and am patient I will realize success, even if it takes longer than I thought it might. Some people are naturally open and exuberant and changeable and can adapt to new things more quickly than I can, but I'm a grower. Slowly but surely I grow into people and situations and languages and roles, which takes seemingly infinite amounts of concentration, time, and effort. I just have to realize that it's okay and I'm okay, because if I keep plodding along at my very own pace I know I'll make it in the end.